10 nov
the horrible happened … not just deadly silence but death itself descended …
totally encompassing the soul … leaving her … unconscious
… – no desire , not even a little flame .. no hope .. but totally apathic ..
it is
an undescribable state , this … the utter bankrupcy of the soul ..
and magnified because she learned of the many gorgious promises …
this is not normal ,
the distance to Him is now virtually incrossable …
even if this would be a playout ,
it’d leave her , though being in eden , disqualified towards Him forever