16 july
strange… to my knowledge He was never the subject before ,
but “Christ explained , lectured me what is His salvation about” ,
or better ,”showing me His lecturing to another soul – or souls”
– any other detail I could not retain , except the complete authority
… so it must be true
that either ‘some fell away’ and/or “new ones are being added”
(per the parable about collecting the lame and the sick) –
and it may explain the horrible past week ?
it may have been “a declaration to Jacob” , but because there was
no condemnation but instead a solid teaching , a stating of themes ,
it must have been to [-a part of] the sons

the fact that He showed … does that mean we’re close to the end ?
[the theme change sounds a bit absurd , but-] we know from experience
that “the moment devils had to identify themselves – by saying their name –
it was the moment they had to leave” ,
perhaps this is a similar type (spiritual-) law ,
that the mere fact that He showed implies that a timeframe is about to stop…?

now , today , it is … confusing to have had the deity that near
– even only in a dream – since so countless days it was always
a one way street communication … you know what I mean …
ofcourse apart from the times one feels listened to
— moreover , it is almost paralyzing how shameful it is to be in this ape ,
not having anywhere to hide but only whispering ‘just dont look at me’ ;
and how impossible to get out of it – except if the deity wants to
… so
what we do now Sir – except to keep listening ?