20 march [8pm]
it’s a shambles , a mess … how many times we had to hold on to you
while it was not going anymore … but now it’s getting more impossible each time 
– it is so worrying that you say nothing , show nothing … for all we know you could be
furious on us ; but if the soul always listens to hear from you then this can’t be the case ? 
– one more run then … one … though it’s already discouraging to think of the next days : 
how long we’ll have to run without water this time ?
 
the foul ape , the cursed mind and this freakshow downhere , she hates them all ,
and day after day that horrible Void grinning at her and no way to escape from it ;
every single day tiptoeing to not fall in any trap which she would be closed off from you
yet if a trap bites her she immediately slides into the darkest dungeon worse as the void ,
and the whole circus to get out of it starts again from scratch
 
two decades ago you showed the field of glowing embers at nighttime , and the beautiful
girl carefully walking over the ten inches wide path – out of reach from the redhot embers
which were innumerable rattlesnakes … and you had made the sacrifice of clearing the way
so that she would not hurt her lil feet because of your love for her
– you surely must have meant our Originals with the girl … for how different is the reality !
heartache
the soul has no defense … and always so thirsty … imprisoned in this ape the more she
needs to get out the more helpless she gets … and therefore needs to hear from you
– but this iron wall of silence and thirst is killing