20 november
perhaps it’s best to stop complaining now , right :
it is useless talking to a stone – anyway never in a million years it will respond ;
we best start walking again – tomorrow
that same endless desert where the last drop of water was already used
a hundred miles ago ; that neverending goddamn desert and yes that is
on purpose turning us into a bunch of ridiculous Fools endlessly hobbling
to a fata morgana in the far distance ,
it would have been more merciful to have taken Esau’s Clot Shot and die
like the 46,000 + others and be done with it instead of having to pull oneself
together again for the umpth fucking thousandandone time to continue walking
this cursed nomansland to reach a deity whose favorite sport is To Stay Silent
the elite troops perishing in the desert … yes you heard that right – THIS was asked
of you and we and we DID learn to understand the scroll : by having learned to read
and understand hieroglyphs and what they talked about ; had we enough time and
energy and access we’d blow them all open ; same with Rg-Veda addressing exact
the same themes , if we had five years to really get the feel of Sanskrit –
this is who you and we are yet we are perishing in this neverending desert ,
and no sound doctrine can be found anywhere on the net because every christian is
too busy defending corrupted concepts , imprisoning us only deeper in this lousy prison
planet since they refuse to understand that the scroll has been turned into a joke by
Esau
… you are hurting us beyond belief … instead you would be proud on us and encourage
by at least showing glimpses , in a mission which is not less as the Exodus , this time
you choose to say fcking nothing , not even old-Ishral was that deprived of anything ,
but in the culmination of everything , in the timeframe of wrapping up whole history ,
you leave us like walking dead having to walk the impossible drought
…
and no — ‘more understanding’ does not equal ‘more belief’ or ‘more energy’ – in fact it
is the inverse : it makes everything just the more complicated , needing more help to
can stand and process all the difficult themes
this is no fuckin hobby like at ‘5 doves’ or ‘raptureintheair’ where nothing has changed
since 2001 [sic] hopping from date to date , happily ‘waiting’ another 200 years
while praying for the peace of Jerusalem
yes i’m hurt beyond belief
these i honor – all of you who neither understand what is going on but don’t have any
option but to walk on , all of you who had the courage to accept the scroll ,
my deepest respect to each of you