27 july
the fourth day of drinking – or is it the fifth
can’t bear to be awake yet not being able to sleep
if any believer is a poor example it’s me
but this cursed Date thing has finally broken it
so many months , so many years of waiting and thirsting
to have the sweetest little being inside
not even touching her but just adore her beauty
and feel every feeling she  does and is giving to us
you all here are real males and know exactly what I’m trying to say
ofcourse it has nothing to do with the depicted girl — but it’s the image
of your very own beautiful female whom you would adore to heaven
kissing her lil hands and toes and long curls as the goddess she is
He says : I will give you a new heart” : yes , one with little feet
       … but one can only survive so long without drink
       year after year perishing of thirst
       and when finally the rescue seemed close , it is shattered again
       and nowhere to go this time and no answer
this no answer  is worse as the feeling of having let you down :
after everything we have found now this cursed Date thing will kill us ?
please , I beg you , fight like you never have and plead for us all , 
because we must find a way out of this deadlock — or we will have Lost
the greatest mystery is not “why Eve listened to the serpent”
[female is ‘the Word’ while male is ‘Authoritative Speech’] 
but why the hell Adam let her to
she is protected by a violent hailstorm – as the power of male –
from any outside enemy
yet inside that hailstorm is the soft light wherein she dwells
there can be only one answer which is that he gave her up 
the more we understand about him the more he sickens us
is it related to the line in Rg-Veda where she begs him to come to her
but he refuses ?
between waking and sleeping – or whatever state that is –
I am in a deep sea .. it seems to have the sphere of ‘evil’ … but all of my
tummy and chest literally feels and sees her tummy and chest and long curls ,
so a great desire for her and she is so pretty clad in ample lingerie
what did he do with her ? “curse her love” ? “threw it into the sea” ?
what was the curse that this awful man did and why “deep sea” ?


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26 july 23
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28 july 23