30 december
you’re not angry that I speak to you Majesty 
that small fluttering bird , the tiny consciousness that is left of an individual ,
cannot forget your radiating Kindness … though not present , she cannot forget it ,
only desiring to stand again in that unique position
      yet now in vain she tries to reconstruct how come that during the past week
      she once again finds herself in this dark land still imprisoned in this dirty ape  –
      as if the hopeful expectation of the days prior  to the past week never existed :
      the only thing she remembers was that Sorcery cloud starting ; then this …
that you were closer in those days was undoubtedly related to the Tablet theme
of which she still thinks it is valid … yet sadly any further descriptions have been
too corrupted : therefore she hopes that the legal finds are sufficient enough for  
you “to retrieve it out of their possession” because that’s the only thing that matters
      however , please , this raises a new problem … – that unexpected theme seems
      to relate to an unspecified surplus time  on top of the three years : that is , as far
      she could reconstruct the Haggai 1 & 2 chapter context  — 
      undoubtedly you wére specific but the grave corruptions paralyze her :  
      apart from the fact that the three years must be over by now , how can she know
      what was the corruption turning the lines into an unspecified time ? and what 
      would it hélp to know if it is even unsure when exactly the third year ended ..?
      how come she fails to find out this crucial aspect for her ? 
please know how very frustrating this business of waiting the date is ,  
she has so frightening little energy that making it through one  day is a job already
while she fears every next one … perhaps you think that is silly , perhaps you think
that she has to man up a little , but she tells you Sir that she’s just not able  to …
yet , please , it’s not that she is unwilling  — she could rise above her inadequacy if
she only had hope for ‘the next week’ , or even ‘in a month’ :
       she knows that you do not say things which she can find in the scroll already
       but perhaps please in this case you want to make an exemption … 
she respects you very deeply … and is very sorry for this state of her — you deserve
gorgeous sons that reflect the majesty that you are , but this shameful state and the
helplessness of her make her to blush … – there’s only one thing , even only one 
which she must be doing right : waiting for you 
       if it’s alright then she spoke for all of us 144 
       everyone is deeply tired
       please say something to us



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29 december 22
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31 december 22