30 june
what a disastrous trainwreck this has become …
the negative logs may tire you but please understand that there. is. no. date. :
if we were unable to pinpoint it it means that she doesn’t exist — it’s as simple as that ,
but therewith we have nothing no more to can survive this torturous existence
no that’s not true — heroin is an option
the rock and the hard place … shutting down the site is not possible because therewith
we’d again seal the scroll which we just opened … but continuing to perfect incomplete
chapters with a dosis reluctance is not the right way and can even impair judgment …
and where the soul – or whatever is left of her – before still needed Him to say something
now she is too disillusioned to even ask that anymore , imprisoning herself only stronger …
and what we do now ? wait for Trumpets , five. whole. freaking. months. away ?
and how to cross that endlessness ? and what would make Trumpets a candidate ?
why you let this happen to us our Majesty .. ? December was also a disaster until we
understood the sceptre thing — and we found it immediately , just as you said — so that
any disappointment was quickly erased and she was so completely expectant of you :
why would you allow such wounding blow to your remnant which is already struggling
greatly to survive every next day in waiting for you … ?
you have not sent your cavalry … NOT … and where we already lacked everything
now it has become totally impossible … however the most hurtful consequence is that
something has come to stand inbetween you and her … something indescribable ,
uncatchable , a shadow , something that shouldn’t be there …
30 june [6PM]
pondering ‘them worshipping the calf at Horeb’ — Adam trying to block us ?
… if we reconstruct what happened there : the people arrived at mount Horeb the 6th day
after Passover (see page) and after that it is probable that Moses stayed forty days upon
the mount , descending from it at Weeks — so in total 49 days from Passover ;
a) every version of ‘the calf’ leads back to … Adam
… considered the text (-and context) the golden calf event appears to be genuine ;
thing is that whatever version this calf represented it was related to Adam :
we can’t know what version they made but we have several options : first as the H’EP-bull
which represented “the stolen turquoise Dome over the throneroom of God” – the eden gate ,
now as the dome over the matrix gate where Adam is (was) ;
it may have been “the Bull as the spirit-body which Adam designed for the nations (‘of spirits’)”
but especially for the sons of Ammon , where the Egyptian “Festival of the Tail” confirmed the
slaying of our Originals to produce that bull [‘strength’] body for them ;
though there are many types of bulls in the Spells – where for example Horus was ‘the calf’
but because it refers to the eden-type body which he stole – the general meaning of the
calf that they made múst refer back to ‘Adam’ otherwise the context would be Invalid ;
now ,
b) the worshipping the calf as foreshadowing event
… Moses “holding the TABLET of the Covenant descended to the people” , right ,
and similarity appears with Christ returning holding the Eden sceptre — see pages ;
yet Moses was met by Adam having … what ? ‘having instigated a blockage’ ?
what does the calf event — of which’ meaning those people were not aware — imply for us ?
– does Adam have a grip upon a part of the 144 ?
– did he instigate the event to thwart the appointed date — the (feast of-) Weeks ?
c) afterwards
… now it gets even more difficult :
we cannot know for sure what happened after this — if indeed Moses broke the tablet ,
and if indeed he again went up to the mountain for an unspecified time ;
however : the thing is “that something did NOT HAPPEN that 49th day” as the day when
he descended to his people , and though the Spirit came down upon the disciples and their
people 1300 years later — and compare again ‘the descending’ — NEITHER IT HAPPENED
at the 49th day what was supposed to be the day of the restoring of the soul ,
but instead it was a collateral for the days of the end when the sons would restore the scroll ,
now waiting for the very same timeframe only to find out that IT HAS NOT HAPPENED :
what is this — as if some Pattern here … ?
you see please where we are heading ?
d) did Moses again go up the mountain and if so – important ! – how long ?
… contextually it is probable that Moses smashed the tablet since the breaking would
represent the annulling of the appointed day that the soul would be restored , right ,
and that he re-wrote (?) another tablet could indicate the restoration of the scroll —
the whole point of the above exercise is ,
if the concept is true , does it imply that we still have , say , one month to go ?
e) RE : closing
… so – if the people ‘chose for the calf’ which was related to Adam ,
where the logs the past days were about the choice for or against Him , related to Adam ,
does this imply that — very carefully stated — this window has been a test for us .. ?
a test concerning Legal Right : because we did restore the right themes ,
and therewith gained a certain Legal Right ,
and you , Majesty , wanted to see what we would do with that Right :
stand upon it [-like Adam did] or return it back to you ?
the choice is not that difficult —
you be our deity please and we be your people