4 january
it is always horrible to have to stand ashamed before you ,
the drinking will kill as you saw ; and all of us are oppressed  —
– but there is no breath – only toxic air ; how can the soul stand and wait ..?
bearing the void of day after endless day without a nearby palpable timeframe ?
she silently pleads with you all day but she will fall again if it stays like this

perhaps it never said ‘ninth month’ – just ’third year’ ,
just please not let it be the seventh of this year :
only the thought of that is reason to give up right now

the dream , from mid-December , helps a little ,
yet the most important section is not clearly explained –
what’s going onright now on *may be* that the final batch
of the 144 are added – considered the theme and buildup ,
but also because you and we “… will be the last”