| 4 january it is always horrible to have to stand ashamed before you , the drinking will kill as you saw ; and all of us are oppressed — – but there is no breath – only toxic air ; how can the soul stand and wait ..? bearing the void of day after endless day without a nearby palpable timeframe ? she silently pleads with you all day but she will fall again if it stays like this |
| … perhaps it never said ‘ninth month’ – just ‘third year’ , just please not let it be the seventh of this year : only the thought of that is reason to give up right now … the dream , from mid-December , helps a little , yet the most important section is not clearly explained – what’s going onright now on *may be* that the final batch of the 144 are added – considered the theme and buildup , but also because you and we “… will be the last” |