9 march
that isn’t an option
but then what to do ? 
every next day facing this horrible void
how does one arm oneself against that monster ?
… we can’t pinpoint the “from this day..” , the Haggai one — it’s too corrupted ,
while own – or others’ – dreams showing some timeframe prove again and again
to be worthless … with other words , there is no timeframe to live towards to

many of the first christians died a horrible physical death – though there are reports
that many were spared from feeling it because of angels being around ; and from the
letters of Paul we understood that their souls had a direct and close relation with Christ –
but
we are endlessly being stabbed to death , starved and shot and without that relation
– this is what is happening , the 144 being murdered daily , yet they somehow still stand

Christ , Sir , when will you say ‘now it was enough’ ? and how could you — ever — 
restore such utterly depleted beings ?
there was a video , posted a few months ago , about this woman who had a dream
about ‘being tortured in several manners – but she continued to follow you’ ,
but that was (only) a dream : yet would you only consider (the level of-) our loyalty to you ?
in the context of ‘where we came from’ ?
you yourself are loyal to us –
two decades ago , you covering and the tip of your sword resting on the gravel in front ;
what you have done is incredible and you are the son any father would wish ,
and it’s good that you always were … harsh — to have Esau’s corrupted version exposed ;
but
how you would make us sons – real ones ; how can you make sons from depleted beings ?
what other option we have
than let us be murdered daily until you will say ‘now it was enough’.. ?

it hurts to read ’the 144 as gorgious army’… we never had a chance … before being conscious
downhere we were already slaughtered and imprisoned in this ape … and only because of you 
we will have our originals back 
– yes you had to smash the soul in order that she would understand where she came from ,
and it’s good that you did … but then there is no other option but that you also restore her ,
as in the olden times , before the slaughter ;
but – please – don’t have an army of created marionets , but of beings who fought their way
back to you — because of what you did ; let your kind judgment rest on that ;
 
your servant ; needing more than anyone your kindness