20 may posted (=will be in parts) : Is. 40+41+42+43+44 the bastard cut it all up in sections then glueing it randomly together so that the several themes “the Originals , the gate , M-Babylon and the 144” can only be – somewhat – restored by hunting the probable sections first and then try stitch them together into something readable … it s just not doable ; all morning a bitterness making the stomach turn ; (t/telegram ; see yesterday) it has nothing to do with mental nor emotional instability — I know what a sh*t life is like , but nothing since the past few years of having murdered whatever still was left ; it is hard to not be bitter to Him , so it implodes inside into an unescapable prison where tricks as “resist and he will flee” have lost their meaning long time ago…
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