[about the failed Weeks window 26 June 2023] 
30 june
what a disastrous trainwreck this has become …
the negative logs may tire you but please understand that there. is. no. date. :
if we  were unable to pinpoint it it means that she doesn’t exist — it’s as simple as that ,
but therewith we have nothing no more to can survive this torturous existence
       no that’s not true — heroin is an option
the rock and the hard place … shutting down the site is not possible because therewith
we’d again seal the scroll which we just opened … but continuing to perfect incomplete 
chapters with a dosis reluctance is not the right way and can even impair judgment …
and where the soul – or whatever is left of her – before still needed Him to say something
now she is too disillusioned to even ask that anymore , imprisoning herself only stronger … 
        and what we do now ? wait for Trumpets , five. whole. freaking. months. away ?
        and how  to cross that endlessness ? and what would make Trumpets a candidate ?
why you let this happen to us our Majesty .. ? December was also a disaster until we
understood the sceptre thing — and we found it immediately , just as you said — so that
any disappointment was quickly erased and she was so completely  expectant of you :
why would you allow such wounding blow to your remnant which is already  struggling 
greatly to survive every next day in waiting for you … ?
you have not  sent your cavalry … NOT … and where we already lacked everything
now it has become totally impossible … however the most hurtful consequence is that 
something has come to stand inbetween you and her … something indescribable ,
uncatchable , a shadow , something that shouldn’t be there … 

 

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30 june [6PM]
pondering ‘them worshipping the calf at Horeb’ — Adam trying to block us ?
… if we reconstruct what happened there : the people arrived at mount Horeb the 6th day
after Passover (see page) and after that it is probable that Moses stayed forty days upon
the mount , descending from it at Weeks — so in total 49 days from Passover ;
a)  every version of ‘the calf’ leads back to … Adam
… considered the text (-and context) the golden calf event appears to be genuine ;
thing is that whatever version this calf represented it was related to Adam :
we can’t know what version they made but we have several options : first as the H’EP-bull
which represented “the stolen turquoise Dome over the throneroom of God” – the eden gate ,
now as the dome over the matrix gate where Adam is (was) ;
it may have been “the Bull as the spirit-body which Adam designed for the nations (‘of spirits’)” 
but especially for the sons of Ammon , where the Egyptian “Festival of the Tail” confirmed the
slaying of our Originals to produce that bull [‘strength’] body for them ;
         though there are many types of bulls in the Spells – where for example Horus was ‘the calf’ 
         but because it refers to the eden-type body which he stole – the general meaning of the
         calf that they made múst refer back to ‘Adam’ otherwise the context would be Invalid  ;
now ,
b)  the worshipping the calf as foreshadowing event 
… Moses “holding the TABLET of the Covenant  descended to the people” , right ,
and similarity appears with Christ returning holding the Eden sceptre — see pages ;
yet Moses was met by Adam having … what ? ‘having instigated a blockage’ ?
what does the calf event — of which’ meaning those people were not aware — imply for us ?
– does Adam have a grip upon a part of the 144 ?
– did he instigate the event to thwart the appointed date — the (feast of-) Weeks ?
c)  afterwards
… now it gets even more difficult :
we cannot know for sure what happened after this — if indeed Moses broke the tablet ,
and if indeed he again went up to the mountain for an unspecified time ; 
however : the thing is “that something did NOT HAPPEN that 49th day” as the day when
he descended to his people , and though the Spirit came down upon the disciples and their
people 1300 years later — and compare again ‘the descending’ — NEITHER IT HAPPENED
at the 49th day what was supposed to be the day of the restoring of the soul ,
but instead it was a collateral for the days of the end when the sons would restore the scroll , 
now waiting for the very same timeframe only to find out that IT HAS NOT HAPPENED :
what is this — as if some Pattern here … ?
you see please where we are heading ?
d)  did Moses again go up the mountain and if so – important ! – how long  ?
… contextually it is probable  that Moses smashed the tablet since the breaking would
represent the annulling of the appointed day that the soul would be restored , right , 
and that he re-wrote (?) another tablet could indicate the restoration of the scroll    —
the whole point of the above exercise is ,
if the concept is true , does it imply that we still have , say , one month to go ?
e)  RE : closing
… so – if the people ‘chose for the calf’ which was related to Adam ,
where the logs the past days were about the choice for or against Him , related to Adam ,
does this imply that — very carefully stated — this window has been a test for us .. ?
        a test concerning Legal Right : because we did  restore the right themes ,
         and therewith gained a certain Legal Right ,
         and you , Majesty , wanted to see what we would do with that Right :
         stand upon it [-like Adam did] or return it back to you ?
the choice is not that difficult  —
you be our deity please and we be your people

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29 june : assessing the damage of this cursed Date thing
… in spite of having been so careful  we gambled and Lost :
– meaning we need disentangle the Weeks subject from the main theme of individual chapters
  so that their theme will not have an il-Legal connection with a concept turned out false
– an even greater problem is What Now :
  any other candidate is not half as solid as the Weeks theme and frankly we’re thoroughly fed up
  with this freaking Date thing — it’s worse as the Stockholm Syndrome by not even wanting  anymore
  to spend energy to this trauma which yet is THE most important day for us
  … the hype now is ‘the 9th of Av’ supposedly as the 26th of July 
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cQLIdnDLcA  [showing it don’t mean I like the Esau guy
  with his “dead rise first” T-shirt which is ‘the 144’ ofcourse — to be fair I think he’s a Troll] 
  but 1) the ‘wine’ connection is wrong because corrupt and 2) it is very questionable whether Moses
  went up another 40 days (it’s even possible that Moses NEVER BROKE the tablets – breaking a
  heavenly tablet of God ? – but just invented by Esau as pretext for ‘another 40 days’ : who knows ?) ;
  aspects can be so corrupted  that the only thing we can trust is our own judgment and searching to
  understand why things happened or were said   — and that’s what we do all the time , right  
  and yes occasionally we lose  like with this Weeks theme
         however : the Gorgeous that appeared 24-26 june/july (probably july) last year makes that we
         cannot turn down ‘next month’ too easily — but the main problem ofcourse is that there is not
         any textual backup whatsoever for any event just after Weeks
– and the greatest problem of all ,
    is that this whole thing has damaged the relation with Him ,
    though it is very tricky – and dangerous – to describe what is that damage :
    does the phrase “not doing it anymore with 100% enthusiasm” make any Sense to you ?
    and the danger ofcourse is that this is a door to even darker thoughts … this must have been the
    very “first moment that Adam thought whether he could continue on his own” — and though ofcourse
    our situation is incomparable – apart from the fact that we do not want  to leave Him – the aspects of
    that event come frighteningly close …
    in the apocryphal “first book of Adam and Eve” is the line “.. and God ceased to speak to Adam”
    in a situation after he ate the fruit — this “ceasing to speak” akin to our situation now , and it is not
    unthinkable that exactly this  caused the final decision of Adam …
    I’m always honest to you : is this but a mindf*ck — or is it a realtime play-out ?
– and finally ,
    is it possible that the Date was thwarted .. ?
    we always called out any of Esau’s occult Rituals we spotted , right , and though we don’t believe
    that any specific ritual can have thwarted a date , it is possible that He has set a date but not as
    one in stone (-contrary to what what we may believe) but more like ‘a fluid one’  — 
    this is not said “as excuse because Weeks did not work out” but as serious question ,
    knowing that Adam will literally DO ANYTHING to thwart any final date
 
    so hurtful to have to write the above
    you please ponder everything and discuss it with Him
    be assured that I’d like nothing else as to have the relation with Him as before   this disaster
[+3 hrs]
it is a horrible play-out
for it would mean losing your radiating kindness
[which you showed that 24-26th a year ago] 
it would mean losing the sweet female inside radiating her love
and it would mean losing your son with his covering protective sword
which’ shining tip rested in the gravel two decades ago
we will not leave you
please tell us that we passed the test
restore us tomorrow and forgive us everything immediately

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