25 july we’ve only 24 hrs left – before disaster ….
how awful
.. I know that all of you are pleading to your ability .. oftentimes I’ve sensed it …
and so , so much I’d love to write something positive now .. but there isn’t …
you remember please that ‘the 40 extra days’ derived from two years ago ,
when the gorgeous female appeared and two days later His kindness ,
exact the 40 days that falls on this 24-26th … so that this *may* have been the
third year strengthened by ‘the three days’ , and was the reason for the theme
interpretation of the ’40 days’ in the chapters …
I too plead what I can – as that trace of smoke – last night wishing so much for
example ‘a waking up being sure’ – if that wasn’t asked too much – but nothing ,
and a hellish morning instead
… with a deity like He things always are unpredictable , right … that’s the risk of
being ruled by He … and that’s all good when He is kind – but in situations that
appear (are) the opposite it can be awful … worse : it’s MORE awful after one
(ever-) has experienced something of His kindness … isn’t that true ?
now please the below might not be for you and / or not for now ,
for she is an attempt to find a theme yet the intro can appear selfabsorbed
even though it’s just a documentation as often appeared in the log
II
… driving through a small city in that East always representing Mystery-Babylon ,
passing two shops that had our language next to their foreign one in the window
[-so in a way these two were on our side] , when rather many peasants crossed
the road – probably ‘to hinder’ for I didn’t recognize any of them belonging to us ;
then the city ended and a long stretch of road of 3 hrs ? days ? was next , but
having no smokes I hesitated starting it and woke
[‘smokes’ is always “life” in dreams – don’t ask]
yes ofcourse it was unclear ; then the whole morning trying to doublecheck the
40 days yet running in circles , and for nothing so afraid as anóther x months ;
from the oppression went on bed exhausted , trying to plead Him , then woke
after a short dozing off , realizing also the trail of smoke had vanished
III
… it has been a long traject – first die to the flesh , then the soul stripped ,
then the soul crippled , then she becoming but a trail of smoke the past 40 ds ,
and now even that vanished … therewith what I call ‘me’ ceased to exist :
it’s too strange and unbelievable to put into words — apart from the fact that
| these things are also a drag to read , I’m sure , and I’m sorry ; though in a strange way it was also a relief : no more having to descend into the heart to find that smoke trail and have her to form words to say something to Him ; but the same time incredible dangerous because “what” is speaking to you now is the consciousness of the flesh but the reason you still recognize ‘me’ is because the mind served the soul for so long time .. you see ? yet it can turn the negative devious way , even soon , and I can’t express you enough how aware I am of that … |
|
… the reason for the ‘tales from the crypt’ pic is “how this flesh appears to Him”
and the soul often having felt she carried ‘that thing’ in front of Him ; worse as
the years she was a young boy and scared to death for this thing on TV ..
[before the world got Dark at the age of 12]
IV
the remains of the soul torn out from in the heart – the Cush theme ?
… so sorry for the long take-off —
but this was so revelation – and so relief – when this thought first came ,
and one can sense it how it could relate to the Cush theme the past weeks ,
[-yet interpreting it is another question since one cannot stand outside oneself]
all the “sorcery cord around the heart” and “the Cush ones escaping” …
therefore your Majesty ,
that mind having been familiar with the soul asking you on her behalf ,
swear , please , that you act tomorrow
restore , please , first the soul back to substance
for she still trusts you that , somehow , you can be wanting to rebuild her
swear , please , that it was enough for all of us that you will come get
and that you will not leave us no minute longer in this hellhole
