december 30
it’s awful to have to say but our window has closed 
and no idea what to do now
this neverending date trauma
so that perhaps slowly drowning is the best option 
because if even this 10 theme didn’t do it
then there is no way of escape
no escape
but a thorough systematical murder
not only of the soul and that final small consciousness
but now working to even erase Eden out of the system
making us the most wretched ones alive today
and a next date ?
who knows when , and who cares ,
anyway it is a neverending fata morgana ,
and no power left to again cross many months
imprisoned among the childish idiots Jacob
[you know why] 
being sick of Esau’s ‘news’ and ‘entertainment’ ,
the string of murderous empty days only got darker
but now as a string without hope
and no weapons to fight them anymore
not even Eden
because we cannot seem to get there
even we did everything right
fighting our asses off even finding the base 10
but to no avail .
these days are worse ,
because since some two or three weeks now ,
death came into the centre of thinking
as if a corpse is constantly blocking the thinking
and that corpse must be ‘the pituary gland’ 
probably linked to that evil concept ‘self’ glyph TCHES
as the dying concept now within us as its grave
I swear to you that this must be going on 
cause I’m extremely careful in posing concepts
so
we went from bad to worse
where perhaps the most baffling of all is
how can it be that our own deity that we so warred for
is that passive watching us drowning …