december 18
… not sure what happened the past eight days ,
but the End came into being — and not in a positive way but a dreadful one ,
as an Iron impersonal Veil that came down blocking every thought and every 
desire to explore the current theme , worse , totally blocking Him and causing
our expected date to seem completely unrealistic if not pathetic ;
this never happened before — at least not as ferocious like this — and even 
though it may be a sign ‘that we are on the right track’ it is no consolation in 
the downward spiral of alcohol while frantically trying to confirm this theme :
all the good hope is lost , all the honour gone , 
not even a reason remained whý He should get us pathetic scoundrels out
though we never did anything else as fighting for that to happen while we fail 
to understand how can we be this poor when the finish line is about in sight :
to say it all is a gigantic hurtful mess is a massive understatement ….
being angry because of all of this ,
we needed to have that fucking hidden base-10 proven as the cussword
that doesn’t refer to Eden but to Esau’s ugly compete mutilation of this theme 
in the Scroll through which we would be but running around in circles ,
wherefore in some way it HAD to show in his own writings and depictions 
IF our understanding about our God desiring ‘the 10 of the Eden house’ is true ;
and apart from the ’10 concealed stars’ in Amduat ,
we have found confirming proof in the KV9 tomb of Ramses , (here) ; 
the page is not completed yet but *will be* in the next couple of days          —
you get us out please our Majesty , 
judge us all you want but we never gave up in wanting to understand you ,
even in the insanity to reject the 12-base that is everywhere around us to see ,
because we trusted in you that you wanted to tell us something else ;
it is outright horrible to have to meet you in this utterly depleted situation
but if you are able to restore the entire Eden realm perhaps you can restore
us within it so that you will never remember our pityful days here ,
being proud that your sons hearkened to you as those that had a massive
disadvantage to Adam’s evil sons but have fought all their way back to you ,
then forgive your poor troops , please ,
that had to discover that they were murdered before they even existed here ,
and would have no way of returning to their homeland if you had not made
the consistent effort to explain hów to return to her ;
but we are completely exhausted by now , please , and do not see how to
survive past our date — around this earth’s new year — where in our own 
experience you completely abandoned us that is very hard for us to accept ,
making us to hide for you ,
instead of being your sons that brought back your lovely Garden that our 
evil so-called father in his stubborness thought to have destroyed forever 
 
you please forgive Jacob ;
we testify with you that he impossibly could have known all of these things ,
and though there are many bad souls within him his overall nature is one of
caring and desiring a lovable community with fellow-souls ,
mainly as the Western society that thus was attacked by Esau in every evil
way imaginable for centuries ; then you please get them out as well for you 
made us their spokesman , for you promised that all of them will again dwell 
in your garden as in the beginning ,
and in spite of our pathetic life right now we wanted nothing else but that 
 
you will need to — if you want that — to forgive us very much ,
perhaps more then anyone of your people Jacob that walked on this earth , 
but we faced the most impossible problems unconsidered in three millenia ,
where our only anchor is to understand what you have spoken
then judge us
and there is enough to judge
but please be kind and consider our intent — as the fire you kindled