july 27 [10pm]
having tried ten times to write something palpable ,
the defeat is too great
I can’t come over it
cannot face the upcoming endless and empty days
is utter horror
under that never ending murderous silence of our deity
while deeply mocked by the clowns preaching that evil KJV
the defeat is too great
it was never about date setting
but with utmost care trying to restore a theme
with the greatest of care
desiring all honor back for our deity , for Eden , for our Originals and us
but nothing
being stabbed in the back is an understatement
and that cruel silence sealing it
…. searching literal death
all the dying a hundred times over was for nothing
having survived until now with the final traces of power we never had
only to be backstabbed and with that cruel gruesome iron silence
the relation with the deity is broken
affecting a hell of a lot of other themes
and not I broke it
an indescribable tragedy
and even if restored an eternal wound
right now Eden and everything related is hanging by a silk thread
if we will give up
I thought we were warring together
the deity and his creature , for the same goal
in that situation the boundaries of the creature are clear , defined
but that is no dishonor because the deity would cover the gaps
the deity said we are warring together
saying to accept [the restored scroll] from your hand – your doing
but there is no warring together anymore
not even together anymore
no us
and perhaps there never was
indescribable tragedy