october 25 2025
we lost .
Plain and simple .
there are no loopholes anymore — no ‘next month’ since this calendar started
at the end of April wherefore it’s silly to hope ‘that we can be a month early’ ,
so that the only realistic option is “that it won’t happen for another year” .
which is a problem .
Because we refuse .
 
We do have internally discussed a suicide pact ,
but kept it Off for hope of the next 50 days .. the next 90 days … because of
the themes and the probability that ‘this time it would be right’ — but facing
another endless year of waking up into gruesome days without hope
has killed even the desire to understand themes : and it was enough .
It was enough .
 
if Majesty refuses to act then we cannot be blamed for having enough .
We gave Him every opportunity until go no more , the most insane themes
paid for by our girls bearing physical pain , yet never it is enough , never :
if it is all THAT impossible then we have to call it a Quit .
 
Poor Jacob , poor family tree of us .
and we were his last hope .
if his sons (-and daughters) that warred to understand cannot find it ,
being rejected by the deity who in his haughtyness doesn’t even tálk to us ,
leaving us scrambling to find the right themes so that he would rescue us ,
there comes a time – after a series of disappointments –
that even those most willing are giving up
and that time is now .
 
Poor Jacob. Poor you and we .
If this still will have a good end ?
who knows .
be honest : who wants to love a cruel deity like that ?
why , in the name of himself , leave those that DO want to understand him hanging ?
it makes no Sense , whatever way you look at it , and if you & we quit Jacob has
no other future as being destroyed – sadly together with you and we
 
no more endless days
no more endless Esau sht everywhere continually
it already was fkn unbearable but the prospect of another year is murderous
no more
suicide pact
for He didn’t do as He promised
breaking the promise
the promise of ‘if you listen to me I will get you’
we listened
until go no more
we did not break the promise — He did
 
you broke your own promise our Majesty
you asked us to explore insanity — we did
not because it is insane but because it is your and our real world
but you cannot leave us now
yet you just did
what , do you want , please ,
having us feel like you did when you knew Eden would fall ..?
as the endless hurtful days that would follow ?