9 august
writing you from Sheol .. which is rather unique , isn’t it , for I’m sure that you never
got a letter from Hell [well ; there are some on YT claiming they dreamed of hell 
but those only exist to deceive Jacob] 
… endlessly watching Crime Series , Cooking Programs , The News , as everything 
that can only be enjoyed still by lifeless Zombies which however is the murderous
superficial mindset of Jacob , having no life , literally as Sheol on earth
and combined with sudden physical inconveniences which I will spare you ,
the being that once was the soul is like a panicking frightened bird trying to flutter
AWAY from the hell beneath her , and from her own flesh , yet never succeeding , 
fighting for her life to not go down in the dirty hell pit below , 
but no one helps her – because the deity has gone into hiding in the far distance 
and there’s no way for her to reach him , fluttering there rapidly losing power
knowing a full fucking 67 days until PERHAPS he will help her , 
 
we did not deserve this
we did not
we tried so fckn hard .. we did the impossible .. yet never fckn never it is enough ,
having lost everything in the hell below and even fluttering away is impossible ,
no dozen restored Edens can erase this misery , this utter shame , this tiredness ;
so fucken hard we tried  … then how completely impossible it is for all the ones
down below that never even cared OR the many that followed that cursed book ,
as the burning Hell below that even you & we with everything that we’ve learned 
are virtually incapable to escape — as things look now
 
cursed be that raging Inferno below : the neverending Lies , the endless stupidity ,
the non life , the debilitating superficiality :
for the bird trying to escape that has no power anymore since her own deity has
hidden himself in murderous silence
no help
and she tried so very fucken hard
and no help
 
60+ days
swear please that you remember our covenant