20 august [7pm]
posted : the crystalline serpent-light : Paris Ritual & MSM & a dream
… ever since last post Saturday the crown has become oppressive 
– perhaps with you also – hence this first page about false light ;
tomorrow’s one would explore “the 144,000 petals of the chakra system”
and IF we may be in a race until Atonement – but the themes are very tricky
        our Majesty .. whatever is happening now again it’s not good …
        after the raw situation discovery now the only tool we still have – thinking – 
        under heavy flak and in moments of relief you are so very far away …
        perhaps there is a pattern synchronity with them : that in this final season
        you would cause sudden exponential growth and add all our 144  –
        but that’s a dangerous theme and we travel completely blind
        always forgive us please , immediately .. and show how to interpret this

17 august
some +56 days …
cleaning up pinned section – please see there – while searching for
any chapter compatible with Lev.27 ; both may take a couple of days …

14 august 2024 [730pm]
posted : Lev.27:17-24 : solid Unleavened > Weeks > Atonement TIME LINE      [important]
… the chapter only got móre interesting : THIS was the piece we missed !
the start is “declaring the scroll” linked to “re-paying” [‘atonement’] .. then going to
Unleavened as you & we that WILL declare the scroll — though some others won’t —
then moving to Weeks in which He will accept the scroll and us — but some others not —
until the end date as Atonement : when the 144 are cleaned up & the new ones added …
please ,
you judge the buildup and used words , look close at everything but TRUST IT ;
we were right in so many things : just the ‘+40 days’ got a bit extended now …
it was a torrent of impossible roots and I was so sick trying to make sense of them 
but look how beautiful it runs – because He helped – and i fell into a black hole after ,
drinking , but who cares : tomorrow I get up and you & we continue together
      your Majesty , we asked you to not let this final theme be unrestorable
      and you heard and helped … it really runs pretty and it is so you …
      promise please you take care of each of us and you get us out soon

13 august [7pm]
posted [half] : Lev.27 : Atonement – 13 october – starts to be our date …
.. insanely corrupted but linking back to the posted overview of Lev.16 (Ex.30)
but also to the Lev.25 ‘Jubilee year’ chapter , and because the main theme here
is “declaring the scroll” connected to “re-paying” – literally ‘atonement’ – we start to
have a serious chance with October 13 …   
please judge it & keep pleading — for we. have. not. lost. just. yet
        your Majesty … so many incredible themes you have showed us 
        and now we’re also hunting this one … please make sure that we
        will find everything required … then please come and get us and
        you rebuild us from scratch … and we praise you because you
        never left us and always looked kindly at us

11 august [7pm]
posted : Lev.16 : why Atonement can be our date : the two goats & the desert (Tribulation !)
… we won’t give up , can’t give up , right … two months still is a horrible long time to go ,
but if this Atonement looks possible — and it does — we will bear it together …
everything is inside & hoping that you agree and will have courage again

10 august
per the dream the inferno is true …
a ridiculous short dream .. four lines showed explaining something …
the third was the shortest , confirming that indeed the inferno is happening ,
and I made sure to read the line correctly and not misunderstand it
      your Majesty … if I won’t speak to you I will perish … I am perishing already …
      please filter the dirty words and please consider them belonging to the soul …
      she said , 54 days ago , that she would die for you … trusting your kindness ..
      and she did — but ever since , this dirty hell opened up and I don’t know what
      to do anymore ; I’m horrified by having been reduced to this tint speck of
      consciousness so mortifying dirty that I’m afraid to look or even think … 
      everything it connects with is dead because unspeakable shallow and so
      immensely dirty .. I breathe dirt , inhale it , exist of it , am it , and no way out ..
      I am terrified for you , would hide for you if I could , the neverending shame
      blushing over me even writing this , in constant panic trying to remember
      where it all went wrong , where are the times that she saw what you meant
      between the words and discovered another beautiful promise … I just don’t
      understand how this nightmare of dirt happened … she so waited for you ,
      until go no more … she so tried … then one morning at all changed : 
      she gone , and this consciousness of death and dirt opened .. it is uncurable ,
      it cannot be forgiven because it cannot be cleansed , and I am in it , I am it ,
      I cannot be forgiven my Majesty … not in this state … how horrifying … 
      and even by miracle if you would let me stand before you I wouldn’t know
      what to say – forever not … 
      yes I remember the evening two decades ago when your son stood in the 
      room facing me , or better , I knew it was he ; while I stood on a trap door 
      seeing the large flames of hell below it and I could go down any moment : 
      because all the soul knew was his disapproval of her … he did not say a
      word but this was his judgment , his disapproval of her , which she felt in
      all of her being , as a terrifying knowledge … there was nothing she could
      do to restore the situation , absolutely nothing … after what seemed an
      eternity he enabled her to say something , but all she could stutter was
      the phrase to please not give up on her for reason that he visited her …
      then his presence was gone and the flames had vanished
       
      yet after all these years this situation returned … with the difference that
      now the soul has left … and somehow the imprint on her , the signature
      of her became – or was transferred upon – this tiny awareness , this dirty 
      consciousness … which is vile in itself and cannot be redeemed … 
      and what I call ‘me’ IS that … how horrifying …      
      it cannot love you , it doesn’t understand your words nor cáres about them ,
      it doesn’t understand that you are the other , it has no need of your Life ,
      but I do , my Majesty , I need your life please , I understand your words ,
      I deeply respect you as the other — but this dirty shame doesn’t let me …
      and with every passing day the guilt becomes larger and the danger that
      you could reject me larger .. and I’m panicking my Majesty .. for fear ..
      two years ago , the day in summer , all day she felt your lovely kindness ,
      impossible to describe , that you really love her , constantly being proud
      on her , a warm lovely blanket around her that is your care … to have that
      endangered by this awful situation is too much to bear … that I’m in grave
      danger to NOT ever again know your royal tenderness … it was the only
      reason why she endured and treated your words like gold – because they
      áre you and you are her very life …  
      but now I am afraid Majesty .. because she is gone and I’m so dirty that I
      wouldn’t even touch myself with a 10 ft pole .. I’m afraid that you will have
      enough of me and reject me … I can not bear to think of your disapproval
      which will be that terrifying knowing … ofcourse I know that you are very
      forgiving but that doesn’t help – I need from YOU please to hear what is 
      in your mind ; if you are angry with me then so be it but then please say it ,
      yet please do not reject me … I know you are merciful but I don’t want to
      take that for granted but need to hear from YOU please what you feel ,
      yet for nothing I am so afraid as for your rejection … 
       
      I’m imprisoned my Majesty , seemingly worse as ever before , chained to
      this cursed consciousness , and no way out … the only way out is physical
      death for only then this filthy awareness of this awful ape will finally stop ; 
      and I understand why you said that Jacob will have to make his sacrifice … 
      yet I have hoped so very much that you would get us out so that the soul
      would experience your radiating kindness again 
      but she has gone ; and whatever this ‘I’ is what I am it is deadly afraid ,
      silently waiting for you in pitch darkness , afraid to hurt you yet hurting you
      by being in this monstrous ape , afraid to displease you yet displeasing you
      every single moment she is forced to use this vile consciousness , afraid
      for the next couple of hours and terrified for the next couple of days , 
      silently and respectfully waiting you if you please will say just one word …   
       
      please get us out of here , please rescue us , for we are choking downhere ,
      choking in the filth and the death ; please restore us , please somehow find
      a possibility to forget all the dirtyness of us : we will need everything from
      scratch from you again please , your Life , your consciousness , your world ;
      we still are your children because we need so much your Life , and you have
      called us when we were so in-credibly far away , and you have seen how
      hard we tried – but now something has gone horribly wrong and we really
      need an outright miracle from you : you ..
      please do not say that you rejected us
      and every next day it is getting more dangerous : Atonement is too far away ,
      and even that is unsure – this time his corruptions beat us .. 
       
      if I was too forward in previous logs I revoke that .. nothing disrespectful was
      intended not towards you nor your son .. since I desire to speak kindly to you
      having learned how kindly you spoke to us in so many chapters … but it are
      these awful days your Majesty that search to pull us away from you ..we want
      to make you proud but we’ve so nothing to give any more ; we also want that
      the nations will see you having restored everything , but we barely survive 
       
      the moment I started this log I knew something else was in play .. related to
      those that have rejected your words .. which immediately relates to the dirty
      consciousness … it’s best to not say anything about it – it’s your department ,
      but as for us , please know how impossible it is for us if not even the tiniest
      notion of your presence is detectable .. never please be angry at us when
      again we sink into the mire … for every next time we will wait even more 
      intense as attentive for any shade of your presence
      then you please be our Majesty … we have recognized your words and often
      even the colour of your voice … then never let us fall away from you please ,
      not a single one of us onhere , for we go haywire when you are not there ,
      and you have to endlessly forgive us please until the moment you will restore
      us and we can finally see and HEAR you .. even if it will take unto Atonement
      please promise that you protect us from losing you , promise that you will never
      consider rejecting us , because that is hell itself ; we respect you very deeply 
      and desire so much … how to phrase this .. to feel that you want us , and by
      your own choice .. that is such a valuable thing ; we will love you back forever
      because you wanted us … 
      yet it is so much work for you – you still would need to clean us up and restore
      us before we can even begin to love you back forever .. it’s such a gruesome
      mess and we’re so sorry .. but we want you , Majesty , then please do not say
      no to us but protect us that we won’t fall away from you and you get us please
      because that will be the day that we are sure that you love us
      and that our impossible shameful state right now is unable to endanger that  
       
      something is giving way , these very days .. noticing it here and there .. tensions
      boiling over … and we’re 54 days in now .. as if those that were stubborn got
      even more closed off .. and that were insane , more insane .. remembering now
      the line “who is dirty let him get more dirty” or something – perhaps needs a look
      to see whether perhaps it was about this …
      I don’t want to go but stay with you your Majesty ; I already fear the evening ,
      not knowing what to do with me and fearing the barrage of nonsense which is
      everything because it has no you in it .. thank you for listening … may I ask most
      respectfully please if you could somehow show that you have not gone from me
      though I became the same dirty as my prison … and a second : we’re completely
      stuck with the date theme .. even if you have intended Atonement it’s unrestorable
      either as too corrupted or simply erased .. perhaps we overplayed our hand this
      time with the +40 days .. being a tad too bold .. but it looked so promising : 
      and now every date is uncertain because no structure anymore .. we really need
      a miracle here so that it will not defile the many beautiful chapters
       
      say something to me please your Majesty , but please not that you leave me  
 

9 august
writing you from Sheol .. which is rather unique , isn’t it , for I’m sure that you never
got a letter from Hell [well ; there are some on YT claiming they dreamed of hell 
but those only exist to deceive Jacob] 
… endlessly watching Crime Series , Cooking Programs , The News , as everything 
that can only be enjoyed still by lifeless Zombies which however is the murderous
superficial mindset of Jacob , having no life , literally as Sheol on earth
and combined with sudden physical inconveniences which I will spare you ,
the being that once was the soul is like a panicking frightened bird trying to flutter
AWAY from the hell beneath her , and from her own flesh , yet never succeeding , 
fighting for her life to not go down in the dirty hell pit below , 
but no one helps her – because the deity has gone into hiding in the far distance 
and there’s no way for her to reach him , fluttering there rapidly losing power
knowing a full fucking 67 days until PERHAPS he will help her , 
 
we did not deserve this
we did not
we tried so fckn hard .. we did the impossible .. yet never fckn never it is enough ,
having lost everything in the hell below and even fluttering away is impossible ,
no dozen restored Edens can erase this misery , this utter shame , this tiredness ;
so fucken hard we tried  … then how completely impossible it is for all the ones
down below that never even cared OR the many that followed that cursed book ,
as the burning Hell below that even you & we with everything that we’ve learned 
are virtually incapable to escape — as things look now
 
cursed be that raging Inferno below : the neverending Lies , the endless stupidity ,
the non life , the debilitating superficiality :
for the bird trying to escape that has no power anymore since her own deity has
hidden himself in murderous silence
no help
and she tried so very fucken hard
and no help
 
60+ days
swear please that you remember our covenant

7 august
[do please see the closing]
if you’re bored with the many logs , don’t , for that probably will end soon .
After another fruitless day whiskey is your friend — cursed be tomorrow
when the rising sun will herald another merciless and empty day ;
anyway cursed be this season , the past 52 days since the poor soul that
already was completely broken down got cut up in traces of smoke then
simply ceased to exist – leaving only this cursed 1-dimensional tiny lifeless
consciousness of the mind only understanding the deity as hypothesis 
and others as objects , and that the deity is merely a stronger object as
itself that is capable of injuring her and therefore requires some outward
form of respect : which probably is but a question of time until that notion

Then the first two years : not even realizing the extent of the theme corruptions
because of searching the themes that had shown in the Spells , often with an
exploding brain needing more RAM memory to contain and compose all of the 
clusters of the (hebrew-) roots that covered a certain theme – as hieroglyphs – 
and often blushing when another chapter had been wrongly interpreted … 
These days appear to be the end of that interesting run .
 
for the most important asset – the soul – for recognizing corrupt texts has gone 
and the silly human mind simply is incapable of seeing what can have been
written underneath the outward nonsense , literally as the sealed scroll . 
Second , we no longer have any workable idea concerning ‘our date’ since the
entire structure became context-less after the failing of the 40-49 days concept :
perhaps ‘Atonement’ could be our date yet as one that cannot be supported
by the scroll since the couple of times she appears – or more that got erased – 
is not enough to build any solid date upon ,
evoking the realistic possibility that the Jubilee may only next year 2025 .
 
On the other hand , perhaps the events themselves – like the 52 days now – 
could support that this year IS the Jubilee , and though that would be nice it
doesn’t help the present situation in any way : we still would need to survive
a horrifying 70 days till the next OPTION only , which is more than any
can bear , combined with the past let-downs , and makes the crucifixion
appealing for then at least one day and we’d be done with this hell .
Please ignore your automatic response to that line and ponder it — it is not
said to shock but as genuine impression while what is going on this season
may be of the same order : you being crucified …
 
The first problem ofcourse is ‘how to survive the next 70 days’ 
and the frank answer is : I’ve no fcking clue : continuously drunk is preferable
but not an option for several reasons , while it’s tough with this type superficial
awareness to approach the deity continuingly hiding himself and never giving 
any explanation for what is going on to you & we having tried hard to find him ;
perhaps the only proper answer is “just do survive – no matter how” ,
 
in fact let us make a covenant please (-about that) :
perhaps a standard reflex would be “to plead day and night” and though that
is good even as having become a second nature of your soul , it is not good
to keep her fired up for some unsure Date because eventually she will break
down from the pressure … therefore survive any way you can , yet do check 
back here every once a while since these seasons are so bizarre that things 
could turn around any moment – even it doesn’t appear like that right now ;
the final 144 need you , we here need you ,
no pressure , no weird conditions , nothing of that all , 
just please drag all of us through this awful time just as you are able ,
tell our deity what mess we are in if you feel you have contact with him ,
all the brothers and sisters that will truly be yours
 
with the hope to speak to you again soon , onhere

6 august
… so it turned out that ‘the 49th’ was 2-3 days ago .
                                                                the trauma that is ‘our date’
 

 
… with little hope this morning checking the dates again with an unpleasant surprise :
having trusted — against own nature : yet what can go wrong with ‘counting’ , right — 
a website that Weeks was ‘the 16-17th June’ so that our +49 days would end this 5th ;
then seeing that they were some three days Off and so that our 49th was 2-3 august ;
the point isn’t “to blame them” ofcourse for anyway ‘the +49 days” became a dud ,
it just shows again that you & we have none but ourselves and can’t trust nobody …
 
personally counting back from April 8-9 (the eclipse) , using a moon phases calendar 
showing literally as an abacus and me counting it like a 9-year old , the site I trusted
had a 3-day gap in their start of their 49-day count until Weeks [-see the April month 
and the notes below that] , https://www.truthofyahweh.org/calendar.html ;
therefore ,
9 april     [eclipse ; start of 1st month] 
23 april   [Passover]
25 april   [waving the sheaf = firstfruits ; ‘the day after the sabbath’ ; as the 3d day] 
26 april   [start of 49 day count , ‘begin after the day of weaving the sheaf’ , not the 28th]  
13 june   [Weeks – as 49th day ; not ’16 june’] 
1-2 aug  (second-) 49th day ; not ‘4-5 aug’]                                           
 
.. now please tell whether you agree or not : if this second ‘plus 49 days’ didn’t work out
in spite of its appeal and the connection with Weeks as the ‘double feast’ directly linked
to the first christians — which was the most important connection to consider it ! – then
we need to drop it and search what is next , and though I resent (to avoid the word ‘hate’)
that He “lets us swimming in the dark” we simply have no other option as to try again ;
yet from hereon things get almost impossible :
though ‘Atonement’ is an option (-and please see new posted section in top of pinned) 
which curiously is almost exact ‘4 months’ from the date of Weeks of 13 June , 
there is no solid foundation as why “four + months” (-more) 
[while the line “four more months till the harvest” can have said ANYTHING as no proof] ,
so that the only reason to even consider Atonement would be “when the just passed 
Unleavened & Weeks were ‘the closing of the restored scroll theme” , as intermezzo ,
and that “the Time line restarts again at Atonement” – read : the Tribulation starts
yet ,
that all depends upon whether indeed the scroll was accepted at past Weeks ;
or would we review and change ‘the 40 days theme’ while it was intended for 2025 ?
 
this is a very serious problem ,
not in the least because all the themes in the scroll are intertwined .. right ; 
and where ‘the yt watchman community’ can adapt & mutilate & change at will since
anyway nothing is embedded in any context , we don’t have that luxury — and without
an idea whether “a four months until Atonement” is feasible in the first place ,
it’s almost undoable to restore that to “the Cush ones & the anti-144” that are directly
linked TO this final season — whatever its length was
… does that make Sense please ?
 
in casu , the just posted John 4 section : there’s not much wrong with the text yet the
end ofcourse may not have been “seventh + week” but ANYTHING  — it even can 
have said “seventh + month” [-in which Atonement falls !] through the reasoning that
it will be the literal time of judgment for the anti-144 :
and though to Him that can be a logical reasoning , we are but depleted little beings
constantly having to follow divine reasoning and missing what may the most obvious ..
 
you please forgive me for the long rant ,
you & we really need proper ideas now and only with your support we could get there ;
who knows “if we need to be stronger than the appointed time that the anti-144 will
be clinging to us” .. I’m sure you understand this line … and I’m sorry for the wait
[btw you’ll understand the clip and why the several aspects in it] ;
IF “four months extra” and Weeks was at 13 June , then 
+ 1 mnth = 13 july
+ 2 mnth = 13 august          >> we’re almost there
+ 3 mnth = 13 september
+ 4 mnth = 13 october .       >> which almost to the day is ‘Atonement’ …

5 august [630pm]
technically , perhaps only 24 hours left — and it’s not looking well …
the day already early turned into a sad & silent one .. unfightable … 
— some new hype in this season is called ‘feast of wine’ , 49 days after Weeks ,
but looking into it that comes from the Temple scroll , another product of Esau
likely with the same goal to block ‘our date’ like his later ‘Tammuz 17 & 9th Av’ :
but deciding to not post that now … when our own date is so very unsure …
neither the dream helped ,
a person representing the anti-144 having sent a mail with the cryptic phrase 
“a book a week , ….” from the saying “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” 
yet the second half was too blurred … the book is ‘the scroll’ – or chapters – 
but the unfinished and therefore unidentifiable dream keeps nagging :
if we now start with options as “another 7 days” then nóthing is sure anymore ..
     I’m very sorry it is like this .. trying to stay positive – but how … and I only
     can imagine how you feel , now it has gone on for so long 
     there isn’t much to say your Majesty … it’s all sad , silent , and dead